Interaction SessionZ

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Interaction SessionZ

Post  Bushra on Mon Mar 30, 2009 11:50 pm

Serial articles about Self Development.........
will be posted whenever chances passes by....
you can share what you have, you can comment or discuss with others..!!!



If We believe in Development, you have to MAKE a SteP forward &,yes, sometimes you have to look backward....



The Ladder of Inference
Avoiding "jumping to conclusions"
Have you ever been accused of "putting 2 and 2 together and making 5", meaning that the other person thinks you have jumped to the wrong conclusion?

In today's fast-moving world, we are always under pressure to act now, rather than spend time reasoning things through and thinking about the true facts. Not only can this lead us to a wrong conclusion, but it can also cause conflict with other people, who may have drawn quite different conclusions on the same matter.

Especially in a fast business environment, you need to make sure your actions and decisions are founded on reality. Similarly, when you accept or challenge other people's conclusions, you need be confident that their reasoning, and yours, is firmly based on the true facts. The "Ladder of Inference" helps you achieve this.

Sometimes known as the "Process of Abstraction", this tool helps you understand the thinking steps that can lead you to jump to wrong conclusions, and so helps you get back to hard reality and facts.

The Ladder of Inference was first put forward by organizational psychologist Chris Argyris and used by Peter Senge in The Fifth Discipline: The Art and Practice of the Learning Organization.






Arrow THINK .........THINK......THINK

BEFORE YOU REGRET........








Bushra


Last edited by Bushra on Wed Sep 16, 2009 8:20 pm; edited 1 time in total

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Re: Interaction SessionZ

Post  Bushra on Mon Mar 30, 2009 11:55 pm


Six Thinking Hats
Looking at a Decision from All Points of View

"Six Thinking Hats" is a powerful technique that helps you look at important decisions from a number of different perspectives. It helps you make better decisions by pushing you to move outside your habitual ways of thinking. As such, it helps you understand the full complexity of a decision, and spot issues and opportunities which you might otherwise not notice.

Many successful people think from a very rational, positive viewpoint, and this is part of the reason that they are successful. Often, though, they may fail to look at problems from emotional, intuitive, creative or negative viewpoints. This can mean that they underestimate resistance to change, don't make creative leaps, and fail to make essential contingency plans.

Similarly, pessimists may be excessively defensive, and people used to a very logical approach to problem solving may fail to engage their creativity or listen to their intuition.

If you look at a problem using the Six Thinking Hats technique, then you'll use all of these approaches to develop your best solution. Your decisions and plans will mix ambition, skill in execution, sensitivity, creativity and good contingency planning.

This tool was created by Edward de Bono in his book "6 Thinking Hats".

How to Use the Tool:
To use Six Thinking Hats to improve the quality of your decision-making, look at the decision "wearing" each of the thinking hats in turn.

Each "Thinking Hat" is a different style of thinking. These are explained below:

White Hat:
With this thinking hat, you focus on the data available. Look at the information you have, and see what you can learn from it. Look for gaps in your knowledge, and either try to fill them or take account of them.

This is where you analyze past trends, and try to extrapolate from historical data.




Red Hat:
Wearing the red hat, you look at the decision using intuition, gut reaction, and emotion. Also try to think how other people will react emotionally, and try to understand the intuitive responses of people who do not fully know your reasoning.


Black Hat:
When using black hat thinking, look at things pessimistically, cautiously and defensively. Try to see why ideas and approaches might not work. This is important because it highlights the weak points in a plan or course of action. It allows you to eliminate them, alter your approach, or prepare contingency plans to counter problems that arise.
Black Hat thinking helps to make your plans tougher and more resilient. It can also help you to spot fatal flaws and risks before you embark on a course of action. Black Hat thinking is one of the real benefits of this technique, as many successful people get so used to thinking positively that often they cannot see problems in advance, leaving them under-prepared for difficulties.

Yellow Hat:
The yellow hat helps you to think positively. It is the optimistic viewpoint that helps you to see all the benefits of the decision and the value in it, and spot the opportunities that arise from it. Yellow Hat thinking helps you to keep going when everything looks gloomy and difficult.


Green Hat:
The Green Hat stands for creativity. This is where you can develop creative solutions to a problem. It is a freewheeling way of thinking, in which there is little criticism of ideas. A whole range of creativity tools can help you here.



Blue Hat:
The Blue Hat stands for process control. This is the hat worn by people chairing meetings. When running into difficulties because ideas are running dry, they may direct activity into Green Hat thinking. When contingency plans are needed, they will ask for Black Hat thinking, and so on.
You can use Six Thinking Hats in meetings or on your own. In meetings it has the benefit of defusing the disagreements that can happen when people with different thinking styles discuss the same problem.

A similar approach is to look at problems from the point of view of different professionals (e.g. doctors, architects, sales directors) or different customers.

Example:The directors of a property company are looking at whether they should construct a new office building. The economy is doing well, and the amount of vacant office space is reducing sharply. As part of their decision they decide to use the 6 Thinking Hats technique during a planning meeting.

Looking at the problem with the White Hat, they analyze the data they have. They examine the trend in vacant office space, which shows a sharp reduction. They anticipate that by the time the office block would be completed, that there will be a severe shortage of office space. Current government projections show steady economic growth for at least the construction period.

With Red Hat thinking, some of the directors think the proposed building looks quite ugly. While it would be highly cost-effective, they worry that people would not like to work in it.

When they think with the Black Hat, they worry that government projections may be wrong. The economy may be about to enter a 'cyclical downturn', in which case the office building may be empty for a long time.

If the building is not attractive, then companies will choose to work in another better-looking building at the same rent.

With the Yellow Hat, however, if the economy holds up and their projections are correct, the company stands to make a great deal of money.

If they are lucky, maybe they could sell the building before the next downturn, or rent to tenants on long-term leases that will last through any recession.

With Green Hat thinking they consider whether they should change the design to make the building more pleasant. Perhaps they could build prestige offices that people would want to rent in any economic climate. Alternatively, maybe they should invest the money in the short term to buy up property at a low cost when a recession comes.

The Blue Hat has been used by the meeting's Chair to move between the different thinking styles. He or she may have needed to keep other members of the team from switching styles, or from criticizing other peoples' points.

Key points:
Six Thinking Hats is a good technique for looking at the effects of a decision from a number of different points of view.

It allows necessary emotion and skepticism to be brought into what would otherwise be purely rational decisions. It opens up the opportunity for creativity within Decision Making. It also helps, for example, persistently pessimistic people to be positive and creative.

Plans developed using the '6 Thinking Hats' technique are sounder and more resilient than would otherwise be the case. This technique may also help you to avoid public relations mistakes, and spot good reasons not to follow a course of action, before you have committed to it.





Bushra jocolor
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Re: Interaction SessionZ

Post  Regina on Tue Mar 31, 2009 2:55 am

The first thing that came to my mind was ... WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW!!! Shocked


I wish they would teach us a course about self-development instead of this Arabic & ثقافة صحية thingy. At least with self-development we would be able to improve ourselves in many ways. This way we could fight our way through life's muddles by adopting such useful techniques.


I will try my best too to contribute to this forum & post useful information that would benefit all.


I CAN NEVER THANK YOU ENOUGH, BUSHRA!!!
YOU ARE TRULY A UNIQUE PERSON!!!
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Re: Interaction SessionZ

Post  fnoo on Tue Mar 31, 2009 4:46 am

Hey Bushra

EXCELLENT TOPIC! cheers

I hope that is finds a perceptive audience to read, understand and actually, Apply it one day in thier lives

الله يحفظك و يحميك

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Inspire Personal Accountability

Post  Regina on Tue Mar 31, 2009 11:14 pm

As a leader, deciding to make changes is the easy part. Getting your people on board is much more difficult. Why is that? Quite simply, change is an emotional process. We are all creatures of habit who usually resist it, and welcome routine. Unchartered waters are scary!





In the long run, however, sameness is the fast tract to mediocrity. And, mediocre companies won't survive. Tuli Kupferberg said it best... "When patterns are broken, new worlds emerge." And, that is your challenge...to convince your team that the new world you are trying to create is better than the one you're in. Is it easy? Of course not. It takes planning, commitment, patience and courage.





The truth, of course, is that change can be a wonderful gift. In fact, it is the key that unlocks the doors to growth and excitement in any organization. And, most importantly, without it...your competition will pass you by. A big part of success, as a leader, will be your ability to inspire your team to get out of their comfort zones; to assure them that even though they are on a new path, it's the right path, for the right reasons.





That's what this book is all about....ideas, to inspire, to motivate, and to encourage your team to move forward and to embrace change.


flower


Change is Good...You Go First






Something magical happens when we accept personal responsibility for our behavior and our results. But, it's not easy, because it's human nature to "pass the buck". I (Mac) know there have been times in my life when my business was struggling where I found myself blaming others, blaming the economy, blaming this, blaming that! But as I've gotten older (and a little wiser) when things go wrong in my business, or my life, I can always find the culprit...in the mirror. In every instance, it always comes back to choices I've made in my life that put me exactly where I am today. I have to say, that this one "tweak" in my attitude may sound like a little thing, but it has made a big difference in my life.





What does all this have to do with change? Plenty! As a manager, one of the most important things you can do in times of change is to get your people to understand how taking personal responsibility and recognizing problems as opportunities, will not only help the company, but will help them as individuals. In other words, sell the idea of...what's in it for them?





Authors B.J. Gallagher and Steve Ventura wrote a great little book about achieving success through personal accountability titled: Who Are "They" Anyway? I like their list showing how each individual in the company can benefit by adopting a "personal accountability attitude":





- You have more control over your destiny
- You become an active contributor rather than a passive observer
- Others look to you for leadership
- You gain the reputation as a problem solver
- You enhance your career opportunities
- You enjoy the satisfaction that comes from getting things done...the power of positive doing
- You experience less anger, frustration and helplessness - all leading to better physical health
- You realize a positive spillover effect into your personal life at home






According to Gallagher and Ventura, the most important words of personal responsibility are as follows:




The 10 most important words:

I won't wait for others to take the first step.

The 9 most important words:

If it is to be, it's up to me.

The 8 most important words:

If not me, who? If not now, when?

The 7 most important words:

Let me take a shot at it.

The 6 most important words:

I will not pass the buck.

The 5 most important words:

You can count on me.

The 4 most important words:

It IS my job!

The 3 most important words:

Just do it!

The 2 most important words:

I will.

The most important word:

Me






Frank Tyger said it best ..."Your future depends on many things, but mostly yourself."




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Re: Interaction SessionZ

Post  cold shiver on Wed Apr 01, 2009 1:29 am

you know what Bushra ... you are one of the inspirable

people I ever met.

I like this subject ..

people like us need it so much ..


keep in ... may God protect you
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Re: Interaction SessionZ

Post  notebook.. on Fri Apr 03, 2009 2:36 am

Hey, my friends ..

You are great, cheers that's what I can say!! ..

You enrich our minds with knowledge .. study

Thank u Bushra I love you .. Thank u Regina .. I love you

God bless u all .. flower
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Re: Interaction SessionZ

Post  Bushra on Fri Apr 03, 2009 5:18 pm

5 Whys

Quickly Getting to the Root of a Problem
Why use the tool?
The 5 Whys is a simple problem-solving technique that helps users to get to the root of the problem quickly. Made popular in the 1970s by the Toyota Production System, the 5 Whys strategy involves looking at any problem and asking: "Why?" and "What caused this problem?"

Very often, the answer to the first "why" will prompt another "why" and the answer to the second "why" will prompt another and so on; hence the name the 5 Whys strategy.

Benefits of the 5 Whys include:

It helps to quickly determine the root cause of a problem
It is easy to learn and apply
How to use the tool:
When looking to solve a problem, start at the end result and work backward (toward the root cause), continually asking: "Why?" This will need to be repeated over and over until the root cause of the problem becomes apparent.

Tip:

The 5 Whys technique is a simple technique that can help you quickly get to the root of a problem. But that is all it is, and the more complex things get, the more likely it is to lead you down a false trail. if it doesn't quickly give you an answer that's obviously right, then you may need more sophisticated technique problem solving techniques like those found in our problem solving section.


Example:

Following is an example of the 5 Whys analysis as an effective problem-solving technique:

Why is our client, Hinson Corp., unhappy? Because we did not deliver our services when we said we would.



Why were we unable to meet the agreed-upon timeline or schedule for delivery? The job took much longer than we thought it would.


Why did it take so much longer? Because we underestimated the complexity of the job.


Why did we underestimate the complexity of the job? Because we made a quick estimate of the time needed to complete it, and did not list the individual stages needed to complete the project.


Why didn't we do this? Because we were running behind on other projects. We clearly need to review our time estimation and specification procedures.

Key Points:

The 5 Whys strategy is an easy and often-effective tool for uncovering the root of a problem. Because it is so elementary in nature, it can be adapted quickly and applied to most any problem. Bear in mind, however, that if it doesn't prompt an intuitive answer, other problem-solving techniques may need to be applied.






GooD LucK
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Re: Interaction SessionZ

Post  Bushra on Fri Apr 03, 2009 5:25 pm



HEY GirlZ

how are you?
thank you all for passing by....
am honored really.....



Like a Star @ heaven





Regina
thank you for posting this amazing participation
& am waiting for more...

Fnoo
grasse ias senorita
welcome
waiting for your posts too

Cold Shiver
before anything, I just want to tell you that I love your avatar, it is helirous...
& thank you for coming by.

Notebook
now.... now... that`s a nice nickname really, I never thought of it as a nickname..
welcom,&, thank you dear...


I hope I post the best of what I read occasionally...
& Ihope I apply it as much as I can





Bushra

Like a Star @ heaven

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Be Yourself

Post  Regina on Fri Apr 03, 2009 7:49 pm

Be Yourself, Everyone Else is Already Taken: The Power of Authenticity


How often do you not say or do something because you’re worried about how it’ll be perceived? For most of us, myself included, this happens more often then we’d like to admit.



We live in a culture that is starving for authenticity. We want our leaders, our co-workers, our family members, our friends, and everyone else we interact with to tell us the truth and to be themselves. Most important, we want to have the personal freedom and confidence to say, do, and be who we really are, without worrying so much about how we appear to others and what they might think or say about us.



Sadly, however, even though we may say we want to live in a way that is true to our deepest passions, beliefs, and desires; most of us don’t and it’s not that easy. We’ve been taught by our parents, teachers, spouses, friends, co-workers, politicians, the media, and others, that it’s more important to be liked and to fit in than it is to be who we truly are. In addition, many of us assume that who we are is not good enough and therefore we’re constantly trying to fix ourselves, or to act like others who we think are better than us.



However, as the famous 19th century author and poet Oscar Wilde so brilliantly stated, “Be yourself, everyone else is already taken.”



What it Really Means to Be Authentic

Authenticity is about enjoying a new sense of freedom to be who we really are--ourselves, natural and without a mask in our relationships, our work, and our life. It takes courage, commitment, and depth to:



• Look within ourselves
• Tell the whole truth (even when we don’t want to)
• Be vulnerable
• Admit, own, and share our true thoughts, feelings, desires, insecurities, passions, embarrassment, dreams, and more.



However, being open and real about all of these things (and more) is what it means to be authentic in life.



Five Principles for Being Your Authentic Self


In order to utilize the power of authenticity in your life as a way to enhance your relationships, increase your fulfillment, and empower yourself, here are five key principles:


1) Know Yourself – Make a commitment to your own personal growth. Discover more of who you are. And, seek out and allow the support, honest feedback, and guidance of others.

2) Transform Your Fear – There’s nothing wrong with having fear, it’s the resistance and denial of fear that is the real problem. When you admit, own, feel, and express your fear, you have the ability to move through it, transform it, and utilize its power in a positive way. Taking action in the face of fear is courageous and empowering.

3) Express Yourself – Have the courage to speak your truth boldly. Deal with conflicts directly. Express your emotions fully. Be vulnerable and real about what you think and how you feel. While on the surface you may worry that this will be seen as “weak,” in actuality expressing yourself completely gives you access to real freedom and power.

4) Be bold – Live, speak, and act with courage, passion, and truth – even if it’s difficult or scary. Go for what you want in your work and in your life. And get back up when you fall down, which you will.

5) Celebrate Who You Are – Appreciate and honor who you are, what you do, and the gifts and talents that you have. Celebrating yourself is not about being arrogant. It’s an awareness of your own power and it’s the key to self confidence, fulfillment, and authenticity.



Being your authentic self is not for the faint of heart, but once you’re willing to truly engage and do the work to become more real - your life, your work, and your relationships will be more exciting, meaningful, and fulfilling!
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Re: Interaction SessionZ

Post  Bushra on Mon Apr 06, 2009 12:28 am



Hey, Regina
how are you?

thank you so much , I love your posts
so encouraging & motivating
& it always push you to believe more & more , that the REAL CHANG is within NOT WITHOUT
work the Inside & surface it outside..

God bless your soul

waiting for more of your participationZ

GooD LucK

lol!

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Re: Interaction SessionZ

Post  cold shiver on Mon Apr 06, 2009 3:06 am

regi..

really .. may God be your guide all the time ..


the last post remained me of an artical I read before ,,

I had to look for it for two hours bounce


Tools to Develop Self-esteem

Here are 25 steps for developing self-esteem:

1- Figure out what your problem is. Realize your problem isn’t who you are, it’s what you have used to protect your physical and emotional well being. It’s hiding who you are: a beautiful human being, a wonderful source of awareness, knowledge, creativity, love and joy. If you practice self-esteem based on the faith that this is who you really are, then your problem will dissolve.

2- Figure out who you are. Take self-evaluation quizzes. Learn as much as you can about who you are and why you think and feel the way you do. Self-knowledge is a key to success.

3-Decide what you can and can’t control. Change and act on the things that are in your control and release the things that are out of your control.

4-Accept responsibility. Finding self-confidence requires accepting responsibility for your own happiness, and recognizing that you are a product not only of your genetic code and your environment, but of the choices you make. Begin your day with the words "I am responsible."

5-Make anxiety your ally. Write down your worries for 30 days. Nagging concerns that loom so large in your imagination lose their power on paper. Amazingly, after writing them down the anxieties begin to fade.

6-Recognize that mistakes are opportunities. Keep the setback in perspective. Most mistakes are not personal tragedies; rather they are problems you now have the opportunity to solve. "Success," is often a string of failed attempts to get it right.

7-Compete to improve yourself not to beat someone else.

8-Be ambitious. When setting goals, remember that you are distinct from what you have and what you seem to be. If you let others define who you are, you may not find happiness. Pursue your own dreams -- not your parent’s, mate’s, or your best friend’s.

9-Be brave and take risks. Don’t be afraid of mistakes. Risk-taking builds confidence. When considering any risk: define a clear goal. Review the positive, practical and potential losses. Determine whether the risk is one of trust, identity or something larger. When you focus on risks that have a larger purpose, you can’t go wrong. Even if the risk doesn’t turn out as you hoped it would, you will gain from it. Act. Take a risk. Be confident -- you have earned it.

10-Think and speak positively. If you hear a compliment or positive statement about someone you know pass that compliment on to them. An Arabian proverb puts it neatly: Blessed is he who speaks a kindness; thrice blessed he who repeats it.

11-Learn something new. Create a new hobby. Increase your vocabulary one word a week. Take on a new physical challenge or activity.

12-Spend time investing in your personal growth. This enables joy to flourish amid the fears and difficulties of life. Read self-help books and act on the knowledge.

13-Decisions: the next time you ponder a decision, think of everything that could go right and say to yourself, "What do I have to lose, really?

14-Smile and be courteous. Use the words please and thank you consistently.

15-Be aware of media’s messages. Their goal is to make you feel bad about yourself so you will buy what they are selling.

16-Keep good company. Positive feeds positive and negative breeds negative. If you choose to be around positive people you in turn will become more positive.

17-Reward yourself. Give yourself and others positive rewards for being and doing well.

18-Don’t accept messages that damage your own self-esteem. It is much easier to improve or change your behavior when you believe you are lovable and capable.

19-Be aware of the different messages that you hear in your head and remember to turn up the volume on the messages that contribute to your positive self-esteem and to turn down the volume on any message that encourages you to think negatively about your worth or ability.

20-You can improve the quality of messages you have in your head about being lovable and capable. Use "how to" statements in your head and take action on the answers you receive. Repeat positive affirmations to yourself & out loud as much as possible.

21-Negative messages can build esteem as long a they are not attacking your self worth or defining yourself as incapable. Properly delivered negative messages say "I care about myself. I am a worthwhile person and I can learn how to do things better."

22-Any thoughts that take us away from a positive feeling are not worth having or defending. If you want to be happy, follow your happy feelings, not your unhappy ones.

23-The moment you hear a critical remark, ask yourself, "What’s on this person’s screen?" Assume that all critical remarks arise from some shortcoming. Remember that people can only criticize what’s on their screen and that their screens are not reliable. It’s very unlikely that any criticism is based on an accurate perception of you. It’s much more likely that the critic is reacting to emotions, memories, and behavior patterns that have almost nothing to do with you. Thinking poorly about yourself because of such critics is a mistake. When someone criticizes you do and say the following: Smile and say to yourself, "Boy, I wonder what’s on their screen to make them so critical of me?" Remember it’s about them not about you.

24-Remember that all criticism shares one characteristic: it is unwelcome. You didn’t invite people to dump the distorted contents of their screen on you. You may feel that you owe some critics a response, but you never owe a critic your self-esteem.

25- A small success can bring big feeling of competence. Small steps lead to more steps. Pat your self on the back every time you make a small success. Every step counts. Take one step at a time in a positive direction, this is the practice of self-esteem.



see , it makes every thing so easy . .. I do not no why people still suffering
after all these tips ..



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Re: Interaction SessionZ

Post  Regina on Wed Apr 08, 2009 12:11 am

You see, cold shiver ... it's always easy to say things, but the hardest part is acting them out. It's not as simple as you think.



Success Enablers and Blockers



Research by leading universities in the field of cognitive and behavioral science proves the existence of so called “automatic thoughts”, i.e. thoughts that come to mind involuntarily and effortlessly as an automatic response to certain stimuli. These are the thoughts that ultimately determine whether you'll fail or succeed.


The average person processes over 60'000 separate thoughts per day, of which 90% occur subconsciously. Automatic thoughts are produced by our subconscious mind and continue to execute without the involvement of our conscious mind. Think about how many things you just do day in day out without even consciously thinking about it. These automatic thoughts are like mini computer programs in our subconscious minds. They automatically come into action as a response to stimuli in our environment.


While many automatic thoughts are positive, some of them can create undesirable limitations in terms of our ability to evolve and progress – you could call them “success blockers”. They simply prevent us from progressing or being successful in certain areas. Automatic thoughts determine your thought patterns, attitudes and behaviors. The reactions we then observe from your environment validate your thoughts.


Certain negative “automatic thoughts” are triggered by common negative deeply rooted belief and thought patterns with groups of people who experience the same or similar challenges and limitations. Conversely, observations of successful people reveal that many of their successes can be attributed to a distinct set of positive cognitive patterns in their belief system.


Thanks to continued research, we now have much more accurate insight into positive as well as negative cognitive patterns. Identifying and recognizing these very patterns forms the foundation of effective cognitive conditioning. Let's have a look at some success enabling patterns:


Success Enabling Thought Patterns

Believing in your Unique Skills, Talents and Capabilities - Believing in our own innate skills, talents and capabilities is not only important from a professional development perspective; it also enables you to align your uniqueness in its entirety with your potential. Several studies reveal that we are the happiest and most effective when we can utilize our individual abilities to the highest degree possible. The objective is to allow you to raise beyond your current limitations and maximize your personal potential.

Viewing Life as a “Platform” for Opportunities- Viewing life as a big platform of opportunities opens doors for opportunities to materialize. It focuses our minds on the possibilities rather than the limitations. Have you ever wondered why some people seem to have a disproportionate amount of luck? They seem to be at the right place at the right time or meet the right people at the right time. The truth is that it isn’t mere luck, most of these people consciously as well as unconsciously look for opportunities and find them, because their mind is open and receptive to opportunities.

Accepting and Expecting Positive Change - Change has a tendency to reward people who embrace it. Welcoming change also means having the courage to explore new areas of potential success. An open attitude toward change is essential for positive change to take place.

Feeling Empowered and in Charge - Accepting responsibility for your own destiny and feeling empowered to shape your destiny according to your ideas is a key success factor. Successful people don’t look for other people or circumstances to shape their destiny. They actively take control and create their destiny.

Self Confidence and Self Esteem - A healthy level of self confidence and self esteem is not only necessary, it is essential for any kind of success we seek achieve. Only when you’re comfortable with who you are and confident in what you can do, will other people believe in you and your abilities. This applies both to your personal as well as your professional life.

Living with Purpose - All successful and generally happy people display high levels of purpose and action orientation. They keep their goals in mind, act on their ideas, follow through with their plans and stay the course until they achieve what they want.

Accepting and Offering Help - Many people have a hard time asking others for help. They confuse accepting help from others with weakness. This couldn’t be farther from reality. Most successful people know about the importance of seeking and accepting help. They achieve their goals by leveraging other people’s skills and strengths that they themselves lack. At the same time they offer their help to others and create mutually beneficial relationships.

Seeing Setbacks as Opportunities for Progression - Most successful people will tell you that they have had their share of setbacks. What sets them them apart is that they accept setbacks as a natural phenomenon and have the ability to stay focused on their long term goals. Setbacks are often accompanied by opportunities and it is key that you continue to look for these opportunities while you experience setbacks.


Do you "own" all these success enablers? If not, focus on adopting the ones you don't own and continue to build on the others.


While adopting positive success enabling cognitive patterns is extremely important in terms of reaching your goals, it is of equal importance to eliminate limiting thought patterns (“success blockers”) that continue to stand in the way of personal growth, progress and success. The following is only a partial list of typical “success blockers":


Negative Thought Patterns

Feeling "not good enough" - One of the key reasons why most people never reach their full potential is rooted in various forms of mostly unconscious beliefs of not being good enough. Although most people don’t like to admit it, it continues to lead the charts of top “success blockers”.

Resistance to Change - Resisting change is mostly coupled with fear of the unknown. It is often evidenced by people who despite their unhappiness with their situation experience resistance to exploring opportunities for change. This resistance to change often leads to missed opportunities for advancement.

Dependencies or Co-dependencies- Perceptions of dependencies and co-dependencies come in many forms. The result, however, is mostly the erroneous belief that our happiness and success is dependent on certain people, actions or circumstances outside of our control.

Blaming Others for Missed Opportunities - We’ve all experienced instances where we thought other people stood in the way of our success. If these experiences turn into core beliefs that we carry with us, consciously or unconsciously, we not only create excuses for not progressing, but also obstacles to recognize ways to work around them and achieve our goals.

Negative Expectations - The are multiple roots causing attitudes of negative expectations. Negative expectations in life tend to create self fulfilling prophesies. If our mindset reflects an attitude of “I can’t possibly do or achieve that”, chances are that these predictions will become a reality. People with generally negative expectations often feel that life is a constant struggle and the next negative event is just around the corner. Imagine an athlete going into the Olympic games thinking “I’m can’t possibly win”, or a CEO of a company thinking “I don’t believe we’ll ever succeed here”. Releasing negative expectations is key to any form of success you may want to achieve.

I-don’t-deserve Attitudes - I-don’t-deserve attitudes are often deeply rooted beliefs connected with beliefs of inferiority. Because we unconsciously believe that we don’t deserve to strive for or achieve certain things, we either “go into the game” with low expectations for success, or often don’t even try. The result is often that we simply miss out.

Being a Victim of Circumstances - Victims of circumstances tend to accept unhappiness, mediocrity or failure as part of their destiny. Victims of circumstances often feel helpless, they think cannot or don’t know how to do or achieve certain things. They often miss to realize that they have the power to change their circumstances. Therefore, they don’t empower themselves to take control in shaping their circumstances according to their wishes.

Procrastination and Passivity - Positive change always requires an orientation toward action. The best objectives and plans don’t mean much if there’s lack of action and follow-through. And yet, one of the top reasons most people don’t progress or fail to achieve their goals is because they don’t follow through.

Earning Approval or Love of Others - Cognitive patterns reflecting the necessity to earn the approval or love of other people can create serious limitations on many fronts. These attitudes divert our thoughts, behaviors and actions from our own individual needs and goals to doing to what’s good for someone else. We can be supportive and helpful to others while staying true to ourselves.

Rational Excuses for Irrational Behavior - Rational excuses for irrational behavior come to light when we find “good reasons” for why certain things can’t be done, or why we do things that shouldn't be done. Excuses, even if packaged in rational sounding reasons, can’t hide the fact that we’re still looking at excuses. As long as we believe these “good excuses” positive change cannot be initiated.



Do any of the above patterns sound familiar to you? If you’re like most people, chances are that at least some of the above “success blockers” are currently preventing you from advancing. Make a conscious effort to address them.



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Re: Interaction SessionZ

Post  Regina on Thu Apr 23, 2009 6:42 am

Affirmations of Letting Go and Becoming the New True You


Like a Star @ heaven Like a Star @ heaven Like a Star @ heaven


People travel to wonder at the height of mountains, at the huge waves of the sea, at the long courses of rivers, at the vast compass of the ocean, at the circular motion of the stars; and they pass by themselves without wondering. — St. Augustine


The ancient Greek aphorism “Know Thyself” was inscribed in the forecourt of the Temple of Apollo at Delphi. Uncovering who I really am has become the surprise of my life. After years of introspection, observation and self inquiry, I believe I’m beginning to realize who I really am. This is new to me, and it’s exciting!




A New Definition of Self Awareness

I’ve found that by the process of removing non-essentials from my awareness, deep forgiveness of myself and others, and long periods of silent meditation, I’ve learned that there is nothing but awareness, aware of itself. I know this sounds abstract, but we are spiritual in nature, and when we seek to know real truth about ourselves, words cannot easily convey meaning. After all, all life is subjective.





The Satisfaction of Cosmic Healing … What a Relief!

So what do I do with this newfound self awareness — that I am? First, this knowledge brings great relief. Maybe it’s just the beginning, but I feel like I have come to the end of my search. I no longer feel the need to read about spirituality, investigate, wonder, or ask myself why I am here. The universe has conspired to bring me to this simple point of existence and cosmic healing, and I’m now more surrendered to the process and loving it!


I have become aware of a sort of unity consciousness in wholeness. My identification with ego has loosened to such an extent that I no longer have a sense of my old identity. I am free to exist more fully inside my quiet mind, feeling joy, peace and surrendered to all that is in front of me, where the observer becomes the observed, free of expectation, judgment and attachment. Old concepts of worry, fear, and suffering all seem irrelevant in the face of my new eternal view. Even the idea of death seems like simply walking from one room to the next.


Don’t get me wrong, even from this lofty perspective, where suffering seems to be non-existent, I am still able to view and be subjected to the cause and effects of life, and still capable of feeling pain and sorrow.




The Power of the Mind: More Consciousness = More Responsibility





With clarity comes greater responsibility. I notice my thoughts and desires become more instantly manifested. I have become a co-creator. As a result, I must be more attentive to my thoughts, desires and motivations. I must be ever vigilant to ensure that these thoughts and desires come from a God-centered motivation, rather than an ego-centered motivation. Awareness begets more awareness it seems.


Transformation from Ego Consciousness to God Consciousness Surely this transformational journey from an ego-centered awareness to a God-centered awareness must be why we’re all here. We are all bound for this glory, and I think more of us are stepping up to this realization with the help of authors like Eckhart Tolle and others. I believe that this knowledge will begin to exponentially gather critical mass, and result in a collective cleaning and refinement unparalleled in the history of the planet.




Ultimate Healing Through Highest Service

By simply looking within, I believe that spiritual seekers do more for humanity than anyone in the world. When I look within, and honestly look at myself, I also learn about others. I realize that I share common struggles, likes, dislikes, wants, needs and desires. A great compassion comes over me. I can no longer find it reasonable to criticize, judge or form opinions about my friends, family and the world. This brings me yet to a quiet space within.





Think Outside the Box and Learn How to Build Your Self Esteem and Confidence

Perhaps a new definition for self esteem is an acknowledgement and understanding that we are Gods in a sea of Godness. We are the center of the universe. As Swami Rama Tirta states: “There is but one reality, and that reality is Myself”. To love ourselves first is how we learn to love. And forgiving ourselves is the highest priority, because love is at the heart of creation.


Being selfish is just the first step toward joy. We all seek to protect our joy, because we’re afraid to lose it. When we look closer, our true nature is nothing but joy. How can we lose something that is inherently ours?




What is Empowerment?

Empowerment is accepting that we are in our right place now. Growing at our own pace, flowing with the current, rather than swimming upstream, applying our God-given talents, awakening to our natural creative, and intuitive selves, can be a new beginning toward uncovering a brand new you. We are essentially individualized units of pure consciousness representing the Godness of our being. I hope we have the courage to grasp and acknowledge this fact. When we do, we can begin to take responsibility for it, and help humanity speed toward the greater understanding that we’re all in this together.




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Shakespeare's Birthday.

Post  sara on Thu Apr 23, 2009 7:59 pm

Hellllllo girls.

how are u all with this shoooort vacatio or shall I call it week off.


By the way girls, today the world is celecirating Shakespear's Birthday in his birthday city Straford. king

It seems that the whole world is celebirating him. lol!

so, Happy Birthday Shakespeare.

Sara. pirat
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Re: Interaction SessionZ

Post  notebook.. on Fri Apr 24, 2009 6:18 am

Hii girls ..

I hope that you're enjoying your vacation .. Very Happy

And happy bithday for Shakespeare ..

I just liked this topic, and I want to share it with u ..


The Thieves of Personal Development

Nothing is worse than having a dream for yourself and entities getting in the way to keep you from it. The sad truth is those barriers to your dreams are usually self-created. Personal development is hindered by four main thieves operating on a daily basis within your life.
- Attitude
- Motivation
- Habits
- Time

Everything you do is a choice. With you choices is always an outcome. On another level, you could call it taking a personal responsibility for yourself. If your life isn’t flowing in the direction you wish, then perhaps it is time to dissect these four areas in a self-evaluation.

Attitude: Accomplishing great things in your life is impossible if your thoughts and words are contrary to it. When you wake in the morning are you happy to have the new day? Has your mind closed down to the potential each day brings? Doing an attitude self-check is essential to personal growth. Without maintenance on our attitude daily, it is near impossible to embrace opportunities which bring dreams closer to reality. If you take a good look around you, you will see people stuck on auto pilot, caught up in stoic repetition. An indifferent attitude is almost worse than a bad attitude. As you grow older, it becomes even more necessary to feed your mind, wash your belief systems and do daily maintenance checks on your attitude. Being unaware of poor thoughts is a poor excuse for not being able to reach out for your dreams. Attitude accountability is reaching out for resources and self-help tools purposely. By not doing so, this thief surely will steal your joy of self-discovery.

Motivation: Simply put, motivation is having an “iron will”. If you do not mean to do something, you won’t. You might dance around thoughts of doing something while melting away on your couch, but until you actually initiate your will through actions, it is only fluff. The hard truth is you are the biggest poser in your own life if you have no motivation to accomplish a wanted dream or goal. No one said finding motivation would be easy either. Every single person has or has had difficulties with motivation. It remains a number one challenge in personal development. There will always be the little voice inside you telling you to get motivated later. Until you make up your mind to exercise your will now, motivation will elude you, keeping it thief number two in personal growth.

Habits: Habits keep you in your comfort zone. Habits provide security. They feel safe, whether they are good habits or bad ones. They can also keep you from moving on into new and uncharted areas of growth. Which habits do you possess? Are they a part of your problem or part of your solution? Sometimes poor habits become so ingrained into who you are, you don’t even notice how they rob your dreams. Developing new habits that are in sync with your goals, is the key to personal development. You must emit behavior which supports the results you want. The reason they are called habits is because you do them over and over and over. To keep this thief robbing your life, you must find ways to eliminate unproductive habits.

Time: The word speaks for itself. It is a universal container for holding all of our life meaning. Finding time, not enough time, out of time…and to each and every human is a lifetime. This is your food for thought: at the end of your life, how will you have defined your journey in regards to time? Did you make time work for you or did you do time? Each moment belongs solely to you, to your choices and to your dreams. Respect the value of each moment life gives you for all things meaningful.


I hope u enjoy it ..

Bye .. flower
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Re: Interaction SessionZ

Post  Regina on Fri Apr 24, 2009 1:56 pm

Great topic, note book!!

Thanks a lot. It is very helpful.

Don't stop. Keep providing us with more. What a Face
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Re: Interaction SessionZ

Post  notebook.. on Mon Apr 27, 2009 12:40 am

Hi Regina ..

You're most welcome ..

Here is something related to the previous topic; "The Thieves of Personal Development"


How To Begin A Personal Development Plan


Recreate your life with a personal development plan. Devising a solid map to improving your life requires taking an honest look at your life. If you wish to re-invent yourself, each area of your life must be dissected .Knowing what it is you wish to change is how to begin the process. You must have a focus for learning a new set of behaviors. Think about where you are now and where you see yourself upon completing a goal. A goal is like a finish line, you run forward for the accomplishment. You aim for the prize.

Setting goals is top priority in a personal development plan. It requires a specific and clear intention followed by action. Once you have established your goal, it should be followed with consistent behaviors which are conducive to reaching that goal. How do you learn new behaviors? By educating yourself. Seeking knowledge on your specific area of focus is crucial for replacing old behaviors or habits with new ones. Plenty of resources exist today for self-help. On any level, you can find information to teach you how to identify problem areas in your life. If in the process you find yourself overwhelmed, frustrated or just plain stuck, consider using a life coach.

Life coaches are a wonderful resource for success with a personal development plan. They can provide a strong support system. They have knowledge of self-improvement tools and skills to teach them to you. A life coach will give you positive feedback and encourage you to persevere. Not everyone can do it alone, that is why life coaches exist. There is a lot to be said about someone cheering you on as go for it. They can help monitor your successes and setbacks.

Whether or not you choose to use a life coach or go it alone, be sure to zero in on your strengths. It is easy to fall prey to loss of confidence from not focusing on strengths. Learn new skills to complement your strengths and confidence. It is amazing how learning affects over-all well being.

When you create your personal development plan, realize magic doesn’t happen overnight. It is becoming conscious of your world and how you operate within it. Daily you must make choices that benefit your goals. By doing so, eventually the prize does appear. You must also realize that personal development is a life choice. Some people appear content to meander in their world, oblivious to needed changes. However, life is meant for change. If you do the same things over and over, you will get the same results. Self improvement in life settings and circumstances should always be considered relevant and necessary.

You can recreate your life with a good personal development plan. Self-assessment of problem areas of your life is the first step. Set realistic goals. Choose actions and behaviors which benefit the goals. Maintain a positive support system. And most of all, applaud yourself for wanting something different for your life
The Importance of Personal and Social Development in Business

Many people wonder why they do not have the success that they want in business. Most of the time, the reason will be right under their nose; they are just unable to see it. The first thing that someone who is not successful in business should ask is, "Am I successful in my personal life and relationships?" If the answer is no, then you now have your answer as to why you are not successful in business. You cannot have a successful career if you do not have adequate personal and social development.

The business world is not your entire life, as much as it may seem to be. Your career is but one aspect of your life that also includes friends, family, and personal needs and issues. The only way to have success in your career is by having success in personal and social development. A balance must be struck. True success cannot be had in one area of your life and not another. This is how personal development, social development, and business development are all linked together.

Personal development is about how you handle your life, thoughts, feelings, emotions, and reactions. Personal development techniques include goal setting, changing to a positive mind set, and learning to deal with all situations in a positive manner. These skills will transfer to the workplace in business development. Without goal setting, time management skills, and positive thinking, a successful career is not possible.

Social development is about how you deal with other people. Obviously, people skills and social development are necessary for business development and a successful career. How you interact with your co-workers, your boss, and your customers, clients, or prospects is just as important as your actual work performance. Social development skills include situation management, stress management, problem solving, dispute resolution, and communication skills. Without proper social development, you cannot have a successful career.

Besides helping with your business development, personal and social development will help you to realize how successful you truly are in your career. Through personal development skills such as time management and organization, you will be able to better manage your finances and household. This will allow you to better see and enjoy the fruits of your labors. Social development will also help you realize your success as you develop stronger relationships with your friends and family, and gain more support from these groups than you ever have before through improved communication skills.

There are some obstacles to personal and social development, just as there are obstacles to business development. But all in all, by developing your personal, social, and business skills, one will undoubtedly resolve the others. For example, if your business development is hindered by a lack of support, working on social development skills like communication can gain you the support you need from friends and family. If you have trouble developing social skills due to hindrance by past events or criticisms, then you can focus on personal development by changing your mind set.

Overall, happiness and success in all areas of your life are dependent upon a balance between personal and social development. Whether your ultimate goal is to become a successful professional or an efficient housewife, personal and social development will work for you to help you realize your goals and become successful in every aspect of your life.
How to Break Bad Habits
There are hundreds of bad habits and hundreds of ways to break them. if you need help, there are books, support groups, and counselors to help you. Mostly you can take a common sense approach and get the job done.

If bragging is one of your bad habits, you could either be insecure or overly proud. It usually makes the other person feel bad, or they resent you. You can get a handle on this bad habit if you stop for a few seconds before you talk. Give yourself time to think about others and how this will sound to them. Think about whether you are telling it to them, or to yourself.

Another one of these bad habits is name dropping. Again, you may be insecure. Most people will not take it in a friendly way. Try to tell your same stories but without the names to stop yourself from doing this. You might say, "My friend Brad" instead of "my friend Brad Pitt," or something like that.

Cursing is one of those bad habits that can start at an early age. You may curse so much that you are unaware that you are doing it much of the time. The first thing to do is to pay attention. Whenever you say inappropriate words, put money in a jar. Even if it is your coffee money, put it in there. Also, you might want to think about anger management classes if your cursing is done in a hostile way.

If you have the bad habit of chewing with your mouth open, there may be a physical cause. It is disgusting at the dinner table and might make you look bad at a dinner meeting. Perhaps all you need is a nasal decongestant. Maybe if you can breathe through your nose, you will close your mouth.

You may be a whiner. This is one of those bad habits that annoy people from the time you are a child until you are old or until you quit it. It comes out in the sound of your voice and the expression on your face. However, it is rooted in a negative, doom and gloom attitude. Look on the positive side of things, and you will find yourself whining less.

Gossips are notorious for starting trouble in any group to which they belong. These people often find their lives so boring that they cannot find anything else to talk about. Their only topic of discussion is other people's business. These people can break this bad habit by finding new interests to think and therefore talk about.

Nail biting is a bad habit for people of all ages. It damages the fingertips and nails. It is not a very sanitary practice. People do it out of nervousness, and most of them would like to quit. In past times, people would wear gloves, but people do not wear them much anymore. You can buy nail polish that tastes bad, though. That seems to help at times.

You can find a way to overcome any addiction or bad habit. Some of them are trivial in the scheme of things. Others are deadly serious. If you find the right help for your situation, you can stop your bad habits.


I hope you read it and penifit from it ..

See you after the vacation ..

Good luck ..
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Re: Interaction SessionZ

Post  Regina on Tue May 05, 2009 2:52 am

::You Deserve to Be Happy::


Achieving your own happiness is the best measure of how well you are living your life and enjoying your relationships. You can learn how to be happier and more fulfilled in everything you do.

Everyone is Different
Happiness in life is like a smorgasbord. If 100 people went to a smorgasbord and each put food on their plate in the quantity and mix that each felt would be most pleasing to him, every plate would be different. Even a husband and wife would go up to the smorgasbord and come back with plates that looked completely different. Happiness is the same way. Each person requires a particular combination of those ingredients to feel the very best about himself or herself.


Listen to Your Heart
And your mix is changing continually. If you went to the same smorgasbord every day for a year, you probably would come back with a different plateful of food each time. Each day-sometimes each hour-only you can tell what it takes to make you happy. Therefore, the only way to judge whether a job, a relationship, an investment, or any decision, is right for you is to get in touch with your feelings and listen to your heart.


Be True to Yourself
You're true to yourself only when you follow your inner light, when you listen to what Ralph Waldo Emerson called the "still, small voice within."on called the You're being the very best person you can be only when you have the courage and the fortitude to allow your definition of happiness, whatever it may be, to be the guiding light of every part of your life.


There Are No Limits
A very important point on the subject of happiness is whether or not you feel that you "deserve" to be happy.

Accept the notion that you deserve all the happiness you can honestly attain through the application of your talents and abilities. The more you like and respect yourself, the more deserving you will feel of the good things in life. And the more deserving you feel, the more likely you will attain and hold on to the happiness you are working toward.



Make Happiness Your Key Measure
You should make happiness the organizing principle of your life. Compare every possible action and decision you make against your standard of happiness to see whether that action would make you happier or unhappier. Soon, you will discover that almost all of the problems in your life come from choices that you have made - or are currently making - that do not contribute to your happiness.


Pay the Price
Of course, there are countless times when you will have to do little things that don't make you happy along the way toward those larger things that make you very happy indeed. We call this paying the price of success in advance. You must pay your dues. Sometimes these interim steps don't make you happy directly, but the happiness you achieve from attaining your goal will be so great that it totally overwhelms the temporary inconveniences and dissatisfactions you have to endure in order to get there.


Action Exercises
Here are three steps you can take immediately to put these ideas into action.

First, accept that you deserve all the joy and happiness you can possibly achieve through your own efforts.

Second, make your own happiness the chief organizing principle of your life and judge everything against that standard.

Third, be willing to work hard and pay the price for the satisfaction and rewards you desire. Always go the extra mile and your success will be assured.



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7 Tips to Break Free from Fear & Promote Inner Peace

Post  Regina on Fri May 15, 2009 6:37 am

~ 7 Tips to Break Free from Fear & Promote Inner Peace ~


affraid pale



With the ever-increasing pace of life and the demands placed upon us, we are
experiencing more and more prolonged periods of stress, which can lead to burn out and more serious illnesses if not dealt with. Fear/anxiety related illnesses such as cancer, heart disease, diabetes, chronic fatigue, depression, have reached epidemic proportions.


The main reason for this is people have lost touch with themselves and what life is about. We have been living in a world that has dictated how we are to live and have become almost like robots. As a result of this we have lost touch with what is really important to us, our core values. There seems to be no time anymore to relax, play with the kids, read a book, do hobbies etc. People don’t seem to enjoy life anymore. Everything seems to revolve around money and work. This is not how life is meant to be lived.


Well there is a global grand awakening that is occurring right now, as more and more people are reaching a point where they are no longer willing to live this way, and asking themselves questions like “Is this all there is to life?” or “What do I really want in life?”, “Who am I?” People are looking for simplicity, balance and more inner peace.


There are many ways we can help ourselves to bring back those qualities into our lives and alleviate the fear and anxiety we may be experiencing. Listed below are some strategies that will help you experience more peace and joy, which may in turn lead to creative solutions to the challenges you may be facing.


Tips:

First of all let’s look at fear. Do you know it stands for False Evidence Appearing Real? 99% of our fear is produced in our heads. This is due to experience or programming and conditioning from different sources. You either allow it to control you or not. We have been programmed to allow it. Yet you have the power to dissolve it and to do so instantly. There are different fears we have, so let’s explore a few.


Fear of failure – you never fail! You only experience. It is through experience we grow, evolve. Life is all about experience and evolving.

Fear of change – nothing ever stays the same. The universe is constantly in motion. You have to accept this, embrace change rather than resist it and go with the natural flow of life. Again through change we grow. We have to get used to stepping out of our comfort zone (also known as the dead zone!). When we resist change, problems occur.

Fear of rejection– when you allow fear to engulf you and stop you from doing what you feel or need to do for fear of rejection, you are basically rejecting yourself. So the rejection has already been done. This is another deeply embedded program, worrying what others will think or if you will be good enough!

• The biggest fear though is “Fear of your power!!!!” As Nelson Mandela said in his inaugural speech, “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. It is that we are more powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us!!”

There really is no thing to fear. We have been so heavily programmed to fear, and now it is time to break free. That is what the global awakening is all about. So we are in times of great change, great uncertainty, as people begin to wake up, take back their power and live life the way it is meant to be, one of peace and harmony. One of abundance. The chaos that you are seeing globally is this transformation.

The old ways have to dissolve in order for the new to emerge. So for many, fear is coming up in a big way. Fear of change, fear of what is going to happen to them and the world. Yet we have to go with the flow as the changes are necessary. We each have to face our fears, dissolve them, and take back our power, let our lights shine! So here are some tips to assist you.


1. The best way to deal with fear is to look at it, not run from it. Remember it has no control over you unless you allow it. Think of when you walk into a dark room and switch on the light. Instantly the darkness disappears and this is the same when you look at fear. Imagine a laser beaming at it as you look and watch how it disappears. It has to. For many the fear is deeply embedded and so will keep reappearing for a while. Just keep on looking at it, and breathe. The only way is through and you will see this is true. As you face your fears or even just be aware that you are feeling fear and be willing to observe it, it will disappear. (This takes courage at first, but I can share from my own experience it works, so persevere!)


2. When you are feeling anxious or panicky notice what happens to your breathing. It becomes shallow and your heart beats faster. Your body also stiffens, can become almost frozen in a way. You need to get more oxygen into your body to calm you, get the energy flowing again, and use that adrenaline that is being pumped out. So you need to physically move and breathe deeply.


• Just start by taking 3 long, slow deep breaths as deep as you can, putting all of your attention on it. As you breathe out let a sigh or sound come out. We all do this naturally, just not aware usually. This begins to break the thoughts that are creating the fear or anxiety.

• If you can go and take a brisk walk or jog in nature. As you walk/jog, breathe deeply and focus your attention on nature, what you hear, see and feel. Feel the warmth of the sun, the wind; hear the sounds of the birds, the wind blowing through the trees. See the many colours of flowers, trees, etc. and the many birds and animals. Do your best to keep your focus here. Whenever you find your mind wandering back to the fearful thoughts, bring it back to focusing on breathing and then nature. That is the most powerful way to get things moving. Doing this in combination with the exercises below saved my life. I always make sure I walk at least 3-4 times a week, even if it is only for 30 minutes as I love the beauty and gifts of nature. I find that many solutions and inspirations come my way during this time and I ALWAYS feel better when I come back.

• If you can’t get outside but are able to move, stand with your feet hip width apart and knees slightly bent, arms about 12” away from your body, palms facing forward. It is important to keep your knees bent, and create space between your arms and body, so that energy can flow and the body is less rigid. Also by standing it helps to ground you. Keep your eyes looking straight, not down as this can make things worse, and head erect as if you had a hook on the top of your head pulling you up. (When you look down you lose energy. Just look at the posture of someone who is happy and someone who is not and you will see the difference.)

• Begin to breathe deeply and slowly in and out. Notice if you can get your belly to rise as you breathe in and lower when you breathe out. You may this too difficult if you tend to breathe shallow, so do your best. One small step at a time is all that is required. Keep your attention on your breathing, feeling the air flow in and out of your nose. This focusing will help to stop the mental chatter that is making the problems seem impossible to resolve. This is basically what meditation is, focusing on one thing. Continue this for several breaths. If you find you get dizzy then stop breathing so deeply and go back to your regular breath. This is also best done outside in bare feet. Nature is a powerful healer.

• Once you have done a few breaths, then begin to alternate lifting one leg at a time, bending your knee and crossing your opposite arm over and placing your hand on the opposite thigh. Repeat several times placing your hand on your opposite thigh in a gentle flowing motion. Don’t rush it. Breathe in as you lift your leg and place your opposite hand on it and out as you lower your leg and place you arm back to its original position. Get into a rhythm, keeping your eyes looking forwards. This makes you be present and focus on what you are doing, and in turn interrupts the fearful/anxious thoughts, breaking the pattern. The knees act as a pump and help to increase the energy flow. This will greatly assist you and you will notice a difference, maybe not immediately but very shortly after.

• Another way is by imagining a ray of sun coming in through the top of your head, traveling down your spine and legs, and out through the soles of your feet into the ground. As you breathe in, feel the warmth of the ray flowing down and into your head, and as you breathe out, feel it flow down your body into the ground. Repeat several times. Imagine all the fear/anxiety flowing out into the earth to be dissolved.


What all of the above do is help to break the thoughts that are infusing the fear. Did you know that we have roughly 60,000 thoughts a day and yet there are only a few that keep repeating themselves, just like a tape. It is these thoughts that feed the fear. So we need to break them.
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7 Tips to Break Free from Fear & Promote Inner Peace

Post  Regina on Fri May 15, 2009 6:39 am

Continued:

3. Meditation is the most powerful tool to do this. Meditation is basically training the mind to focus on one thing. So whether we are focusing on our breath, or movement or nature, we are breaking those thought waves.


There is another part to meditation. There is a part of us that is much bigger than our minds. It is our spirit which is connected to the universe. Our spirit/authentic/real self can instantly transform fear and provide solutions/clarity. We connect with our authentic self by going within and being still. Most people are completely out of touch with this aspect of themselves and yet this is the key to not only alleviating all fear, but providing the life you truly desire.


When you tap into your spirit, you will experience inner peace. So it is very important each day to make time to be by yourself and be still. I know this can be uncomfortable for many at first. However it is essential to learn how to tune into yourself. Believe it or not you know inside what you need to do to help yourself in each moment. You actually have all the answers within. You just don’t realize it, have forgotten this. When in fear mode, all solutions seem impossible as it blocks you from thinking clearly. As Einstein said, “You cannot solve the problem with the same level of consciousness.”

We have many patterns, habits that are fear based/negative that we have had for eons and are not aware of. In order to change habits you need to be aware of them. In order to be aware of them, you have to know yourself. In order to get to know yourself, you have to spend time with yourself. Get the picture!!!


• Just start by sitting quietly and taking 3 deep breaths. Then go back to your normal breathing and just focus on it. See if you can feel your natural rhythm. Notice how your chest, belly lifts and lowers with each breath. You can even place your hands on your belly. Every time your mind wanders, gently bring it back. The key is not to get pulled into your thoughts. Just notice them and continue. Imagine them like clouds floating by. This does take practice so be patient with yourself.

• Then go through your body telling each part to relax. See if you can feel the area let go as you do so. This really keeps you in the moment and breaks the mental chatter. Be gentle and patient with yourself. Start with 5 minutes morning and night if you can. You will find it makes a difference. This is the best way to start to get to know yourself again, to connect with your spirit and will assist you in more ways than you know. It is a key to inner peace.


4. Rescue Remedy is a natural flower remedy that consists of 5 flower essences that immediately calm you. They basically neutralize the fear/anxiety you may be experiencing and are good for all types of trauma. Picture the essence flooding the area and dissolving it. You just put 4 drops under your tongue. These are flower essences so cannot harm you and you cannot overdose on them. So you can take as many drops as you like throughout the day. When I was going through some tough times I basically lived on it!!! It really assisted me. You can purchase it at any health store and some of the big supermarkets now carry it. As a sideline it can be used on animals, children and plants too, so a great thing to keep in your medicine cabinet.


There are other natural supplements/herbs available that assist in calming you and helping aid sleep. B complex is essential as it calms the central nervous system. 5HTP is great for depression and as a sleep aid. Magnesium helps with relaxing muscles and sleep. Holy Basil is also good for calming as well as L’Theanine. To assist with balancing the adrenal glands, Borage oil is good and Maca for helping with energy levels.


5. Keeping a journal is another way to assist. It allows you to put your thoughts on paper, thereby creating space in your head, and often when looking at what you have written, solutions appear. It also helps create self awareness.


• Write daily at least 10 things you are grateful for. This also has the power to shift negative feelings.

• Make a list of what brings you joy and peace. Notice how you feel as you think of them. That warm pleasant feeling transforms fear! Now look at your life and see if you are doing those things that you love to do. If not then here is a BIG clue for you. If you truly desire to live in abundance in all areas of your life, you must live from your heart. You must live doing what you enjoy, what you feel passionate about.

• Your spirit is extremely creative and so when you give yourself a break from the mental chatter, inspiration often comes. Ask your Higher/ real self to show the way. Let your creativity come through and use it. It is another powerful tool.

• Write down what you really want in life. What is really important to you? Be willing to let go of what you don’t want, no matter how scary it can seem. If you are doing things you don’t want to do, it is affecting you on many levels. The global transformation we are currently experiencing demands that we let go of everything that is not working in our lives and focus only on what does. I know this is scary, had to do it myself. But the rewards are well, well worth it!


People are going through massive changes right now in their lives as they move back into their power and begin to live life the way it was meant to be.


The key is teaching yourself to stay in the moment, in the present by focusing on what brings you joy and peace, no matter what is going on in the outside world. Remember that the media are paid to deliver negative news, to keep people in a place of fear. So what is the next tip?


6. You got it. Stop watching and listening to the news. I have found from my own experience that I am told what I need to know. Also stop watching programmes that are violent as this has a subliminal effect on you, further infusing you with fear, even if you are not aware. Only watch movies, programmes that give you a sense of peace, joy.


7. Last but not least, it is essential you develop a loving relationship with yourself. We are heavily programmed to believe that we are not good enough as we are, so constantly comparing ourselves to others and striving to improve ourselves. We are perfectly ok as we are. We really are our own worst enemy. No one berates us more. So it is time to be gentle, loving and patient with yourself as you let go of the old ways, and allow the real you to emerge.


Remember that your fear programming has been with you a long time and will take a little while to change. Also that the whole planet is going through a huge transformation, so everyone is being called upon to do the same thing. Break free from the fear and live in peace. May these tips assist you on your own journey to freedom.


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Three Skills to Improve Conversation

Post  Regina on Mon May 25, 2009 2:04 am

Three Skills to Improve Conversation



One key to becoming a great conversationalist is to pause before replying. A short pause, of three to five seconds, is a very classy thing to do in a conversation. When you pause, you accomplish three goals simultaneously.


The Benefits of Pausing
First, you avoid running the risk of interrupting if the other person is just catching his or her breath before continuing. Second, you show the other person that you are giving careful consideration to his or her words by not jumping in with your own comments at the earliest opportunity. The third benefit of pausing is that you will actually hear the other person better. His or her words will soak into a deeper level of your mind and you will understand what he or she is saying with greater clarity. By pausing, you mark yourself as a brilliant conversationalist.


Ask Questions
Another way to become a great conversationalist is to question for clarification. Never assume that you understand what the person is saying or trying to say. Instead, ask, "How do you mean, exactly?"

This is the most powerful question I've ever learned for controlling a conversation. It is almost impossible not to answer. When you ask, "How do you mean?" the other person cannot stop himself or herself from answering more extensively. You can then follow up with other open-ended questions and keep the conversation rolling along.
Paraphrase the Speaker's Words
The third way to become a great conversationalist is to paraphrase the speaker's words in your own words. After you've nodded and smiled, you can then say, "Let me see if I've got this right. What you're saying is . . ."


Demonstrate Attentiveness
By paraphrasing the speaker's words, you demonstrate in no uncertain terms that you are genuinely paying attention and making every effort to understand his or her thoughts or feelings. And the wonderful thing is, when you practice effective listening, other people will begin to find you fascinating. They will want to be around you. They will feel relaxed and happy in your presence.


Listening Builds Trust
The reason why listening is such a powerful tool in developing the art and skill of conversation is because listening builds trust. The more you listen to another person, the more he or she trusts you and believes in you.

Listening also builds self-esteem. When you listen attentively to another person, his or her self-esteem will naturally increase.


Listening Develops Discipline
Finally, listening builds self-discipline in the listener. Because your mind can process words at 500-600 words per minute, and we can only talk at about 150 words per minute, it takes a real effort to keep your attention focused on another person's words. If you do not practice self-discipline in conversation, your mind will wander in a hundred different directions. The more you work at paying close attention to what the other person is saying, the more self-disciplined you will become. In other words, by learning to listen well, you actually develop your own character and your own personality.


Action Exercises
Here are two things you can do immediately to put these ideas into action.

First, make a habit of pausing before replying in any conversation or discussion. You will be amazed at how powerful this technique really is.

Second, continually ask, "How do you mean?" in response to anything that is not perfectly clear. This gives you even more time to listen well.



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Four Steps to a Super Attitude

Post  Regina on Fri May 29, 2009 2:55 am

Four Steps to a Super Attitude



Decide How to React
It is not what happens to you that counts. It is how you react to what happens to you, especially when you have unexpected problems of any kind.

Here are four things you can do to assure that your attitude is the very best it can be, under all circumstances.


Focus On the Future
First, whatever challenges you face, focus on the future rather than on the past. Instead of worrying about who did what and who is to blame, focus on where you want to be and what you want to do. Get a clear mental image of your ideal successful future, and then take whatever action you can to begin moving in that direction. Get your mind, your thoughts, and your mental images on the future.


Think About the Solution
Second, whenever you're faced with a difficulty, focus on the solution rather than on the problem. Think and talk about the ideal solution to the obstacle or setback, rather than wasting time rehashing and reflecting on the problem. Solutions are inherently positive, whereas problems are inherently negative. The instant that you begin thinking in terms of solutions, you become a positive and constructive human being.


Look For the Good
Third, assume that something good is hidden within each difficulty or challenge. Dr. Norman Vincent Peale, a major proponent of positive thinking, once said, "Whenever God wants to give us a gift, he wraps it up in a problem." The bigger the gift you have coming, the bigger the problem you will receive. But the wonderful thing is that if you look for the gift, you will always find it.


Seek the Valuable Lesson
Fourth, assume that whatever situation you are facing at the moment is exactly the right situation you need to ultimately be successful. This situation has been sent to you to help you learn something, to help you become better, to help you expand and grow.


Decide to Be Positive
A Positive Mental Attitude is indispensable to your success. You can be as positive as you want to be if you will simply think about the future, focus on the solution and look for the good. If you do what other successful people do, if you use your mind to exert mental control over the situation, you will be positive and cheerful most of the time. And you will reap the benefits enjoyed by all successful people.


Action Exercises
Here are three steps you can take immediately to put these ideas into action:

First, become solution-oriented with every difficulty you face. Make a habit of looking for the answers to your questions, the solutions to your problems.

Second, seek for the valuable lesson in every adversity. Make a list of every idea or insight you can gain from every setback or difficulty.

Third, think on paper. Take some time to write out every detail of the problem, and then take the most logical next step to solve it.



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